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codeclown
Traveller
2 comments

Posted 12 years ago

Hey guys,

Me and my buddy have been planning kick-starting our travelling with interrail. My buddy turns 18 next Tuesday and I next fall. We have planned to go on a one-month trip to Europe next summer.

We do have a nice plan of countries we want to visit, not too many but not too few. The problem is that my buddy has started hesitating about our friendship. He is afraid that we'll fight during the trip and our friendship will break.

What is your advice on this? Do you think it's normal to be afraid in this case (both of us travelling alone for the first time) and could the hesitation relate to that? We do have some tiny fights at times but it's totally normal. We still share very alike opinions and enjoy most of our time.

He also has a girlfriend, who is staying here at Finland. He's said that one of the things he's hesitant about is the fact that he'll have to be away from her and other relatives for a month. Do you think this can be overcome? It's obvious, that they'll keep contact a lot, and I'm completely fine with it. I personally think that being away from relatives is really good for a young mans mental development.

So guys, what do you think I should say to him? Are these obstacles impossible to tackle? I think that the trip is such an amazing opportunity to learn, enjoy, experiment and develop mentally, that I am willing to take risks. But what about him? I am ready to abort the plans. Should I, if he seems not to be confident about it anytime soon? I know you don't know either of us, but I wish that someone who's been in the same situation, or has something to say anyway, would come up with some advice that I could tell him.

Thanks!

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Flo
Traveller
10724 comments

replied 12 years ago

Hej,

well...spending one month with the same person can be difficult at times. I would suggest to talk about what to do when you dont get along before you start your trip. For example you could say that you spend one day on your own each week. It is also important to have a kind of arrangement that you dont have to do everything your buddy wants to do and vice versa. If you want to go to, say, a museum, and he does not, no problem: He can pick you up two or three hours later and it is fine. :)
I have made three trips (3 weeks and twice a month) with my best friend and we got along well each time. Of course there have been some days when we couldnt stand each other really but we didnt argue about it and at the end of the day it is fine usually.

I cant tell if he will easily overcome being away from his girlfriend and family but as you said I think such a trip is a good thing for each persons development. Use the time you have now! ;)


Flo 8)

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codeclown
Traveller
2 comments

replied 12 years ago

[quote]Hej,

well...spending one month with the same person can be difficult at times. I would suggest to talk about what to do when you dont get along before you start your trip. For example you could say that you spend one day on your own each week. It is also important to have a kind of arrangement that you dont have to do everything your buddy wants to do and vice versa. If you want to go to, say, a museum, and he does not, no problem: He can pick you up two or three hours later and it is fine. :)
I have made three trips (3 weeks and twice a month) with my best friend and we got along well each time. Of course there have been some days when we couldnt stand each other really but we didnt argue about it and at the end of the day it is fine usually.

I cant tell if he will easily overcome being away from his girlfriend and family but as you said I think such a trip is a good thing for each persons development. Use the time you have now! ;)


Flo 8) [/quote]

Hey and thanks for this reply too!

Yep, we both realize the fact that sometimes the frustration can be overwhelming and we have talked about it. We actually have planned that we will have some days during which we don't meet at all. Compromises are also a natural part of the trip and we are willing to make them.

Yeah, I agree with the time we have! I sincerely think that there is nothing more useful that a ~18-years-old can do on summer =D I am super-excited about the trip, even though it's not completely sure. I sure hope it will happen! This is what I want to spend my hard-earned money on.

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Cherie_L
Traveller
15 comments

replied 12 years ago

Hey there,
if you feel unsure about getting along with your buddy during your journey, you could also think about splitting up along the route for some time. You could consider this as a plan from the start or just as an emergency solution in case you want a pause from each other or pursuit some individual travel plans, etc.
However - have a great journey!! 8)